Today we begin the beautiful and holy season of Advent. With all that we have going on this time of year, it’s no wonder Advent does not always seem to get the attention it deserves. But if we will commit to living this season well, we will experience a deeper conversion to Christ and find real transformation in our lives as Christian stewards.
Why? Advent calls us not only to look back in grateful contemplation of Christ’s first coming, but it also calls us to look forward in preparation for His Second Coming. Advent is a time to reset and regroup, to repent over any misplaced priorities, to turn our minds and hearts back to God while we still have time. We do so not out of fear or guilt, but rather, out of gratitude for Love Incarnate lying in a manger bed.
Whatever we feel God calling us to do this Advent — committing to a daily Gospel reflection, visiting a lonely neighbor, or donating money to those in dire need — there is no time to waste.
Jesus makes this clear in our Gospel passage from Matthew. He tells the parable of a man going off on a journey. Before he leaves, he “places his servants in charge, each with his own work.” We, of course, are the servants in this parable, each with a mission to accomplish in building the Kingdom of God. Jesus warns us over and over in this passage to remain vigilant to the work He has given us to do because we do not know when we will be called to give an account for it.
Our lives are a gift. This holy season is a gift. Let us recommit to living the stewardship way of life. Love came down to us as a Baby. And He is coming again. Be watchful! © Catholic Stewardship Consultants, 2023
Pastoral Pondering
I have been doing Catechism in a Year with Father Mike Schmitz and, at present, we’ve been going through the 10 commandments (Life in Christ). Coincidentally (or Providentially), I have also recently had several questions regarding divorce, marriage, and pre-marriage issues. Hence, I thought it would be a good time to address a couple of them.
First, let’s look at pre-marital cohabitation. The Catechism deals with this under two headings, fornication (#2353) and trial marriage (#2391). Fornication is described as carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young. Trial marriage would be “institutionalizing” fornication in a way. It is treating a person as a thing. I will test drive a new car. I should not “test drive” a future spouse!
Sadly, pre-marital cohabitation and fornication have almost become (if not actually) simply accepted as part of the normal course of things. We encounter a high percentage of those seeking marriage to already be living together. Usually, this does not arise from any type of malice but rather an ignorance of basic moral teaching. It is, after all, the “Tik Tok” generation.
Those preparing couples must spend time explaining the basics of why such behavior is wrong and, in the long run, detrimental to the health and well-being of marriage. Marriage requires both remote and proximate preparation. Beginning with children early and teaching about virtues and the beauty of God’s plans for marriage and family can start at the early ages. As children get older, the preparation continues.
When adult children make the decision to cohabit, parents can do a great deal in helping with these situations by standing up to illicit behavior. If the couple still has some dependency on the parents, this may require not continuing such support and certainly not funding the wedding if they are going to start off on the wrong foot, so to speak. Stating opposition but continuing to support in some way sends a confusing message.
We must love the sinner but hate the sin. The often-heard “I don’t want to alienate them or hurt their feelings” doesn’t go very far when we are dealing with sinful behavior. We have to love them enough to let them know that their behavior is putting their souls in danger. Far better to cause discomfort on this side of eternity than allowing shock when they reach the other side. To some degree the same principles apply when dealing with children choosing to marry outside the Church. Parents can do a great deal to address these issues when children are young enough to be formed and understand the consequences of contravening the laws of God. And all can be done in a way that presents God’s loving plan for marriage and family. Father Mike does this well in Catechism in a Year.
Finally, when we encounter couples in these situations, we do our best to form them and help them understand the importance of living chastely in preparing for marriage. Cohabitation before marriage is noted as a contributing factor to future divorce and marital instability. It is important that perspective spouses understand this and do whatever is necessary to place their future marriage on the best foundation possible. The world, the flesh and the devil are always trying to destroy. We need to do our part to push back and offer the beautiful truth of chaste, marital love.